Let Them… and Let Me
Image credit: InspiredImages, Pexels
On boundaries, burnout, and the business of being yourself.
I can’t even remember all the times in my career where I’ve put so much effort into convincing someone… with logic, facts, and a well-thought-out plan… to change a decision or consider a better way of doing something, only to be met with stubborn resistance or outright denial.
This has always been incredibly difficult for me to let go of. I used to believe that logic would win, especially in the business world where decisions should be driven by strategy and data. But that’s often not how things actually work. Emotions, egos, timing… they all have a seat at the table, whether we like it or not.
So when I first heard about The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, I thought it sounded overly simplistic. I figured I wouldn’t learn anything new. And in some ways, I didn’t… at least not intellectually.
But given how much my life and work have shifted over the past couple of years: leaving full-time corporate life, stepping into consulting and fractional work, and entering the tween years of parenting, I found myself seeing the familiar lessons with fresh eyes.
At its core, The Let Them Theory is about letting go of what you can’t control… especially other people’s reactions.
Sounds obvious, right?
Theoretically, it is.
But practicing it in real life, in real business, with real people?
That’s where it gets complicated.
This November, instead of the usual gratitude list, I’m reflecting on five tough but transformative lessons that have shaped how I show up as a leader, a consultant, a parent, and a person.
Some of these came through frustrating meetings, misaligned teams, and moments where I had to choose clarity over comfort. Others came from people who pushed my boundaries or tested my patience.
All of them taught me something worth being thankful for.
Lesson 1: Let them resist change… you stay focused on the strategy.
When you are the one in charge you think that making the decisions is the hardest part, but sometimes (or many times) the real challenge is getting others on board when you have to shift priorities, pricing, or process. While messaging is important, you will almost never convince everyone by delivering just the right message, and even then, putting the pressure on yourself to get it 100% right is unreasonable.
This is where, as the leader, you have to stay focused on what you know is the right decision and remember that their discomfort is not your emergency. As long as your strategy is sound, you must keep moving.
Eventually, the people who get it will follow. And if they don’t… then let them.
If they can’t handle whatever changes you are making, then you are no longer a fit for each other. It’s not personal… it just is what happens sometimes.
No matter how tempted you are, you can’t babysit everyone’s feelings about it, especially at the expense of executing your strategy.
What I’ve learned: Just because someone doesn’t like the change doesn’t mean it’s the wrong decision. Resistance isn’t a sign to stop… it’s a sign to lead.
What I’m grateful for: Every awkward conversation, eye-roll, or side-teams message I’ve had to ignore. They taught me how to stay steady and focus on the big picture.
Lesson 2: Let them think it’s “too expensive.” You are not here to bargain your value.
This one is so hard for me, but if your pricing makes someone flinch… let them. If you’ve done the work to ensure your pricing properly reflects the value you bring, you have to remember that not everyone will be the right fit for you.
Don’t chase after their validation… that will ultimately lead to eroded margins and loss of belief in yourself. Not everyone will have the right budget to work with you or be properly resourced to do so. Let them. It’s not you.
What I’ve learned: Discounting your value to be more “accessible” often just leaves you underpaid and overextended. Saying no creates room for better yeses.
What I’m grateful for: The times I held the line, even when it was uncomfortable. They reminded me I don’t have to prove my value to everyone.
Lesson 3: Let them leave. You are building something, but it doesn’t have to be for everyone.
Not everything or everyone is a good fit for what you are trying to accomplish. That’s ok. While yes, you need to deliver what was agreed upon to a client or make sure an employee’s responsibilities are clearly outlined (and they get some training along the way), it isn’t on you to keep everyone happy.
Not all employees are a good fit for the company or the job. In the long run, the cost of keeping a client or employee who isn't a good fit is not worth it. Let them leave. Attrition isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it allows everyone involved to find a better fit.
Just like you have to sometimes cut back plants at the end of a growing season to help them grow better the next one… sometimes you have to let people go.
What I’ve learned: Misalignment is costly, even when it’s familiar. Letting go often opens up space for something far better.
What I’m grateful for: The exits that felt hard but were ultimately healthy. They helped me get clearer on what (and who) I want to build with.
Lesson 4: Let them misunderstand. Your clarity is not dependent on universal approval.
Ah, this one hits home for me. As someone who has spent so much time clarifying something or trying to ensure my message is just right, I’ve learned that you can’t make everyone happy all the time. There will always be someone who misunderstands you or disagrees with you.
I’ve spent so much effort trying to reword or repackage something to make it more palatable to someone, but really, I should have sometimes let them be. If they misread my silence, confidence, or lack of explanation, I can only control so much.
I can’t write their narrative or control how they receive something.
Sometimes clarity is more important than consensus.
What I’ve learned: Trying to control everyone’s interpretation is exhausting and futile. Your job is to be clear, not universally approved.
What I’m grateful for: Every time I stayed quiet and confident instead of over-explaining. Those moments helped me trust my own message.
Lesson 5: Let them overreact. You respond, not react.
Now that I am a parent, I have become so familiar with this one. When someone overreacts, you can’t control them… and reacting back doesn’t help the situation. You have to take a deep breath and respond, but you are not responsible for the overreaction.
This does not leave you without options, though. Robbins shares a tool she’s come up with based on the best of what experts say works. She calls this the ABC loop:
A: Apologize, then ask open-ended questions.
B: Back off, and observe their behavior.
C: Celebrate progress, while you continue to model the change.
I’ve seen this play out so many times in leadership.
A team member gets defensive.
A stakeholder flips over a small shift.
A client spirals when something doesn’t go exactly to plan.
In the past, I would’ve jumped in, tried to manage the emotion, fix everything immediately, or rehash the same conversation ten times to avoid conflict.
But “Let them” gave me permission to pause.
What I’ve learned: You don’t have to absorb someone else’s chaos to be an effective leader. Calm is a power move.
What I’m grateful for: The overreactions that taught me how to hold my ground with grace, and for every person who modeled what it looks like to respond with intention, not urgency.
Final Thoughts: Uncertainty, but Make it Intentional
The truth is, I didn’t learn these lessons from a single book. I learned them from real people, real situations, and real tension, most of it the kind you don’t see coming until you’re already in the middle of it.
None of this is about being indifferent. I still care deeply about my work, my people, and doing things well. But now I care differently. More selectively. More sustainably.
So this November, I’m thankful for boundaries.
For the discomfort that made me build them.
For the exits that cleared space.
And for the reminder that I don’t have to manage everything (and everyone) to be an effective leader.
Let them... and let me.
What’s Next?
⏳ Feeling stuck, stalled, or like you're one spreadsheet away from a meltdown? That’s not failure… It’s a signal. Let’s make a smarter plan. Book a chat.
📬 Stay in the loop: Sign up for my newsletter to get the latest blog posts, tools, and insights straight to your inbox.
📲 Follow along on Instagram or LinkedIn for behind-the-scenes strategy talk, candid founder truths, and the occasional spreadsheet meme.
📧 Know someone who needs less hustle, more clarity? Send them this post. No extra charge for the wake-up call.
About Me
I’m Tara, founder of Alchemy Advising, a consulting practice that helps small and mid-sized businesses grow with clarity, confidence, and a lot less chaos.
This blog is where I share reflections on entrepreneurship, ambition, motherhood, and the magic (and mess) of building something meaningful—one decision at a time.
Curious about working together? Reach out here—I’d love to hear more about your business.